


A Shot to Remember

by orphan_account, wordsofaninsanemind



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood, Brothers, Character Death, Comfort, Death, Depression, Despair, Drinking, Drug Use, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Frikey, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, POV Male Character, Sex, Sibling Death, Sibling Love, Siblings, Slash, Suffering, Suicide, Suicide Notes, hopelessness, mentally ill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-16 07:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsofaninsanemind/pseuds/wordsofaninsanemind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Gerard Way breaks under all the pressures that he has resisted his whole life? It is a downward spiral for everyone. Will anyone carry on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Look at yourself," he said looking in the mirror. "You're pathetic. Nobody really likes you and you are what you always thought you were...nothing." He picked the scissors up off the counter and began cutting his hair off. "You deserve nothing."  
A tear rolled down his cheek as he picked up the razor and cut his hair all the way down until he was bald. Lynz knocked at the door.  
"Gee, what are you doing in there?"  
"Leave me alone."  
She twisted the handle but it was locked. "Open the door."  
"Go away," he said turning the razor off.  
"Gerard, come out of there." She a little bit louder now. He opened the door and her jaw dropped. "What did you do to your hair?"  
"Leave me the fuck alone," he said pushing her aside as he went out to the garage slamming the door and locking it from his side with the padlock.  
She banged on the door, trying to get him to open it and he mumbled curses at her under his breath. He sat down at his table, picked up one of his colored pencils and began drawing where he left off. Picking up the remote, he turned the stereo on and his Morrissey cd began to play. One of his favorite songs drowned her out. He set 'I just want to see the boy happy' on repeat. The words repeated over and over. Lynz had given up trying to get him to come out of the garage.  
He just drew and drew. The lines became colored in rememberance of his past. Everyone once in a while he cried, he switched the repeat between the first Morrissey song and "The more you ignore me, the closer you get'. These two songs spoke to him. They spoke to his heart and ripped it out every time.  
Putting his colored pencil down, he put his face in his palms and he cried as the lyrics played.  
"I am now  
a central part  
of your mind's landscape  
whether you care  
or do not  
yeah, I've made up your mind  
the more you ignore me  
the closer I get"  
Gerard walked over to refridgerator and he took out the bottle of vodka that was in there. He had been nursing this bottle all night and it was almost gone. Unscrewing the cap, he chugged back what was left in it and then threw it towards the garbage can not caring if it went in or not. Looking back in the fridge he pulled out a second bottle of vodka that was unopened. Glancing at his phone on the counter, he walked over and picked it up. Ignoring the messages on it, he looked in it for a number, dialed it and put it up to his ear.  
"It's Gee." Pause. "Yeah. The usual." Pause. "Can you come now?" Pause. "I'll give you extra. I don't care how much it is." Pause. "Okay, call me when you are in the driveway."  
He poured some vodka into his cup and put it back in the fridge. The sad thing was he probably should be completely intoxicated right now but instead he was just completely numb. Soon, it all wouldn't matter, he thought, as he began pacing the room waiting impatiently. With no sense of time when his phone rang, he was outside in a matter of minutes once he got the padlock unlocked.  
Gerard hadn't realized that Lynz was watching him and at that point he was beyond caring. As he walked back in the house she stood there, her arms folded and tapping her foot.  
"Drugs? Gerard, really?"  
He closed the door, turning towards the door and away from her. Looking down, he realized that there was bags all around his feet. Turning back around, he faced her and spoke. "You're leaving?"  
"Why should I stay? So, I can continue to watch you destroy yourself? Bandit doesn't deserve this and she sure as hell doesn't need to see it."  
"Just like that you are going to take my daughter away from me?"  
"You don't care about her!" She was yelling now. "All you do is sit in that fucking garage and pine away about how you lost Frank. It was your own fucking fault that you lost him and you need to get the fuck over the fact that he won't even talk to you."  
Gerard zoned out at the mention of Frank and walked away from her back to his garage. He closed the garage door and didn't even bother to padlock it. She was right. It was his fault. Everything was fucking his fault he though to himself. He lost Frank. He pushed Lynz away and now he was going to lose Bandit too. He laid the three eight balls out on the table and looked at them. What did he have anymore?  
"Fuck it," he said breaking open one of the bags, he got the razor he used for his colored pencils and made a line for him to sniff picking up a straw. He closed his eyes at the sensation and his head floated. How he missed this whole sensation. Leaning back in his chair, he moved the coke away and looked down at his drawings.  
He laughed at them. "How the fuck did Frank and I become the demolition lovers?"  
Picking up a pencil, he drew more, depicting more and more of his past as the lyrics still played in the background. His cup emptied multiple times and he refilled it more times then he could count. Half of the eight ball was gone as he finished the last demolition lover depiction. Laying his pencil down, he walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a box.  
"I can't carry on," he kept mumbling under his breath as he opend the plastic box. In it sat a .32 caliber beretta blow back pistol. His hesitated a bit before he picked it. It was already loaded. He had loaded it when he had first purchased it. He sat back in his chair, staring long and hard at the gun in his hand.  
He cried his eyes out. "I am right. I am nothing. I am pathetic. I hurt everyone I come into contact with." He sobbed, as the tears streamed from his eyes. His hands were shaking as he pointed the gun at his heart. "It is already in fucking pieces and you are numb, so, you won't feel a god damned thing," he said pulling slightly back on the trigger. "Everyone is fucking better off without me in there life." He said shaking his head, tears falling and he pulled completely back on the trigger.  
The bullet ripped through his heart and embedded itself in the chair behind him. What he didn't know was that when you die, there is always a few minutes before you are really dead and in that instance he saw everything. Everything that he had lived for and everything he had died for. The tears still fell from his eyes as the pictures played back in his head and instead of the song that was on repeat in the background he heard the lyrics to 'fake your death'. "I choose defeat  
I walk away  
And leave this place  
The same today  
Some like to sleep  
We like to play  
Just look at all that pain."  
His eyes closed, his heart stopped and what was once beautiful was lost.


	2. Chapter 2

Mikey called his brother for what seemed like the thousandth time and again it went to voicemail. He had called Lynz and she told him that she left Gee. When she said she had left almost three days ago and he still wasn't answering the phone; he became worried. He flew out from Jersey to LA and took a taxi to Gerard's house. Lynz told him where the spare key was hidden and Mikey let himself in.  
"Gerard," He called out as he closed the door behind him.  
There was no lights on. The house was dark and it felt empty. As he walked through the rooms, he turned switches on to light up the house. When he reached the garage, he pulled the door open and that was when he saw him. Slouched in the chair, drawings in front of him and Morrissey playing in the background.  
"No!" Mikey yelled running across the garage to him. He fell into the table at the sight of the congealed blood that had run on his brothers chest, onto the chair and into a puddle around him on the floor. Mikey burst in to tears. "You son of a bitch!" He screamed through his tears. "You are so fucking selfish! How could you fucking do this?"   
The younger Way backed away from him, until his back hit the garage and shrunk down to the floor. He couldn't take his eyes away from his brother. "This can't be real. I must be dreaming. He wouldn't leave me. He knows how much I fucking need him. Goddamnit!"   
He put his forehead into his hands and wept. It would figure that the only person that Gerard would think about was himself, Mikey thought, He was always so fucking selfish. "I don't mean it. God, Gerard. Why? Why did you do this to me?"  
Slowly, he got to his feet and walked back over to him. Mikey's hand went to Gee's cheek and he stroked it. "You're already cold. How long have you been gone?"  
The tears streaked down his already tear stained cheeks as he glanced on to the table. That was when he saw it. He saw the eight balls of coke and at that moment he didn't want to feel how he was feeling. Walking over, he took it out, cut it and sniffed it through the straw. He choked as it went up into sinus's, all that crying had him clogged up. So, he grabbed a paper towel and blew his nose before he went back over. He did a few more lines and then looked at the radio.  
"Fuck, Gerard, I always told you this shit sucked." Flipping it off, he leaned onto the counter and he zoned out for awhile.  
His phone rang in his pocket, startling him out of his daze. Pulling it out he saw it was Frank.   
"Fuck you too, Frank," he spouted, "It is your fault too." He said as threw the phone across the room and it inadvertantly slide through the blood on the floor. Looking up from the phone he saw his brother, it was as if he had forgetten that Gee was dead and he cried again like he had just walked into the room. As he dropped to the floor sobbing ucontrollably.

Meanwhile...  
Frank wondered why Mikey didn't pick of his phone. He called him and told him he was on his way to LA to check on Gee. He didn't tell him because he wanted him to go with him, he more told him so that Frank knew where he was. Frank didn't even want to think about why but he hadn't been on the greatest terms with Gerard and Mikey respected that. It wasn't like Mikey not to answer though, he always answered for him and for two days now he hadn't. In his gut something felt wrong and he was afraid he was going to have to suck it up and go to Gee's house to see what was going on.  
He drove the two hours out of his way and as he pulled in the driveway, he saw Gee's car parked there. Getting out he walked to the front door. As he got closer he realized that the door wasn't closed completely, it was like someone had closed it but it didn't click the right way. Making his way in he saw the lights on, he looked around and he searched. Then he saw the door to the garage open. Walking over his eyes saw what his mind did not want to accept and he made his way closer. The tears were already coming down his face.   
"Is this some kind of sick fucking joke?" He cried.  
Mikey stood up awkwardly as if he was a drunk Matt Damon in Dogma. "I wish it was."  
"Mikey?" Frank said walking over to him as fast as he could and pulled him into his arms. "Are you drunk?" He said pulling away and looking at him.  
"The vodka was the only thing left when the eight balls were gone," Mikey said as if he was suppose to already know this.  
"Eight balls? Where did you get them?"  
"Frank," he hiccuped, "they were just on the table waiting for me."  
"Gee," Frank said looking up at the ceiling. "Fuck."  
Mikey leaned on him as he turned back, looked at Gee and said, "I never even got to say goodbye." He said threw his tears as he picked up his phone and called 911.


	3. Chapter 3

The police had arrived and after a bit of investigating the scene they knew it was a suicide. Mikey had become completely unresponsive and an ambulance was called. Frank wasn't allowed to go with him because he wasn't family, so he got the information from the paramedics, where they were going and he was going to follow them. The police wouldn't let him leave without getting his information first.   
As he turned to leave his eyes were averted over to Gerard. The cororner's office was there and they had just moved his body into the body bag and onto the stretcher. As Frank watched, it all began to settle in and everything in that moment was finally clear. Gerard was dead. The air smelled like a rotting corpse mixed with shit. His stomach turned and he wretched all over the floor. When he looked back up, tears streamed down his face again and everybody in the room was looking at him.  
He turned from them, went towards the door, but the smell over took him again and he puked again. Holding his stomach, his head was downcast and he cried. Somewhere inside Frank had always thought that he wouldn't be as angry with Gerard forever, that the band would get back together and he could be with the man with that he loved once again.   
"Fuck," he said outload but didn't care who heard him.  
"Excuse me, Mr. Iero," As he turned he saw the policeman that he had given his information to. "I wanted to ask if you had ever seen these before?"  
As Frank eyed the posterboard that the other man held and he saw the demolition lovers but it wasn't the demolition lovers. "Where did you find these?" Frank asked still not looking up at him.  
"They were on the table in front of Mr. Way's body," he replied to him as Frank took them into his hands.  
Frank shuffled the posterboards around, crying more with each one that he saw and then he saw the last one. It depicted Gerard sitting in the very chair he had been found in, the drawings on the table and the blood on floor at his feet around the chair. He had made these drawings as his suicide note. Gerard killed himself because he couldn't be with Frank. He moved them out of the way just in time to move to the side and throw up again.  
"I've never seen them before," He said handing them back and as the policeman took them he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.   
The air was so heavy that he couldn't breathe, he had to get out of there and without another word he ran from the garage, down the hall and out door. He went to the wall of the house and leaned against it as he tried to steady his breath. Then he started punching the house making his knuckles all bloody. A police man pulled him off and tried to calm him down telling him that he couldn't be punching other peoples property like that. Frank wasn't really listening to him though. He was pissed off and upset all that same time. Not just for himself but for Mikey too.  
Pulling away from the policeman without a word, he hurried off to his car and climbed in. Starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway and drove of to the hospital to wait until Mikey woke up.  
As he drove, he cried and he yelled at Gerard. "You're a fucking asshole. How could you do this? You of all people. How could you do this to Mikey. And what about your mother and father? And Bandit? For crine out loud Gerard, what about me? You have the fucking audacity to leave us all behind just because I won't fucking talk to you. Do you think it didn't hurt me not to talk to you? That every day a little more of me didn't die? You just needed me to get the fuck over it. You know me, I would have. I don't know how the fuck you could do this to me. To us. To fucking everyone." He sobbed out wishing that he could hear him. "I told you. I fucking told you that god didn't exist. How could he create us just to make us all live in misery. Yeah, no, fuck that."  
Pulling into the hospital parking lot, he parked the car and wiped his eyes. Then made his way in and tried to mentally prepare himself of what was going to come.


	4. Chapter 4

Frank paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room. They of course wouldn't let him see Mikey because he wasn't related to him, which just pissed him off even more and he was almost kicked out of the hospital. Frank had no idea what time it even was when they came to get him because Mikey had woken up and at that point he had already sat down. As he walked through the door, he saw a shell of a man that he once knew and it just broke his heart even more. Mikey barely moved his head to look at him, as he made his way to other side of the bed and pulled his chair up.  
"They pumped my stomach," he said playing absentmindedly with his fingers.  
Frank just watched him. He really had no idea what to say. It just broke his heart even more at the sight of his tears as they ran down his cheeks.  
"How could he do it?" Mikey said in a whisper.  
He knew the answer but now wasn't the time to tell him. "I don't know."  
"Gerard, was the stronger one, between the both of us and I don't know what to do without him."  
"Mikey, I'll help you as best I can. I wish I could bring him back."  
For the first time he looked up at Frank. "I have never wanted to die before. Not until I walked in there and found him like that."  
"Don't even say that, Mikey. You don't mean it."  
"I really mean it, Frank," he said looking at the ceiling, shaking his head and still crying. "I don't think the image of him sitting in that chair will ever be out of my head. I have to live with that for the rest of my life."  
Frank's mind immediately went to the same image and then to his body on top of the body bag. That was when the horrifying smell filled his nostrils, he ran to the bathroom and proceed to throw up again. He hung over the toilet bowl and began crying again. That was when he knew that nothing would ever be the same again and he knew that there was going to be some drastic changes to his life.

*Back In New Jersey*

Frank had flown back to Jersey with Mikey. He cried with him, his parents and even Jamia. Even holding his hand throughout the wake and the funeral. Thousands of people turned out mourning the loss of someone that was close to so many people's hearts. Frank decided it was best to stay with Mikey for a little while, he was afraid that he would teeter over that edge again and he wasn't quite sure how he could deal with the death of both of the Way brothers.  
Mikey had somehow managed to switch his hours. He would sleep all day and be up all night. Frank adjusted his hours with him, which wasn't hard because he only slept a couple of hours at a time anyway. Mikey never slept the whole time, he'd have nightmares and he'd wake up. Frank started to sleep with him, but he was having nightmares as well. It seemed that ever other night that they were holding each other because of a nightmare.   
Frank took care of everything for Mikey. He cleaned the house, he cooked and he even paid his bills. Meanwhile, Mikey became more and more a shell of a man. He had stopped answering his phone and he wasn't taking guests. It had even gotten to the point where Frank was afraid to leave him alone while he went to see his kids and when he did leave he would ask Mikey's Mom to come and sit with him. But the younger Way only responded to Frank. His Mom as much as she tried couldn't get threw to him and it broke her heart. She felt like she had lost both of her sons but she still tried because she wasn't ready to give up yet.  
One night as Frank lay in bed, Mikey woke up from one of his nightmares and he pulled Mikey close to him. "It's okay, Mikey," Frank whispered stroking his back.  
Before Frank knew what was going on Mikey was kissing him and they rolled around on the bed groping each other as their tongues mingled with each others. Frank came to his senses and pulled away from him, he got off the bed and looked at the other side of the room.  
"Frank, I need you," Mikey said reaching out to him.  
A tear had rolled down Frank's cheek. His heart had always belonged to Gerard and he hadn't been with any other men. Could he be with Mikey and not somewhere in his mind think it wasn't Gerard.  
"Frank," Mikey called to him.  
Frank gave in and turned back around. He walked back over to the bed, wrapped his arms around Mikey and put his lips on the other mans. Mikey pulled him down on the bed with him.  
"We don't have to do anything," he said softly to Frank.  
Frank rubbed his nose on him. He should of known it would come to this. You can't be this close with someone and not expect it not to turn sexual. That is what happened with him and Gee. Gerard was there with him everytime he fell, everytime that he was sick or didn't feel good and everytime he had wanted to give up. Frank always returned the favors and it developed into way more then he thought it could ever be. He knew he was just using Mikey to replace Gerard but he couldn't leave him, he needed him way too much and Frank knew he needed Mikey just as much. Part of Frank also felt like he needed to do this for Gerard, as crazy as it sounded because Gerard would of wanted him to. He just knew in his gut that it was what he would of wanted and he couldn't quite explain it.  
"Frank," Mikey called him out of his thoughts.  
"What?"  
"I don't know what I'd do without you."  
"You'll never have to find out," he said as he kissed Mikey.


	5. Chapter 5

Mikey pulled away from him, climbed off his lap and unbuttoned Frank's pants. He wanted to protest but he couldn't as 

Mikey pulled his pants down and pushed his legs apart. He licked the tip of his cock and he threw his head back as he put 

his mouth around the head and teased it with his tongue. Then Mikey filled his mouth with his hard cock as he tugged 

lightly on his balls. Frank couldn't protest because Mikey's blow jobs were so fucking mind blowing that they made him 

crave him more and more. He realized that Gee's blow jobs were never as good and as good as the sex was with Gee, he now 

knew he could seperate them.

As he looked down at Mikey, he watched as he pulled himself off his cock and paraded his tongue all over his dick. It sent 

tingles throughout his whole body making him moan louder which made Mikey tug harder on his balls. Mikey pulled his mouth 

off of him as began stroking him roughly and at that moment Frank could see the lust light up behind his eyes. It was 

burning as bright as a flame and he now knew that when Mikey asked for sex that he wasn't going to turn him down. He moved 

down to suck on his balls while he stroked him.

His were still connected with Frank's when he spoke. "Sex?" Frank nodded in reply as Mikey let go of his cock and he 

watched him pull his shirt off, unbutton his pants and take them off throwing them aside. He stradled himself over Frank's 

lap, spitting on his hand and then lathered it on to his cock. Mikey didn't even prepare himself as he pushed Frank's cock 

into his ass. Frank watched his face as it gaped open from the pain.

"You okay," Frank asked him.

Mikey's eyes were closed. "I will be in a minute," he said as he pulled up slowly and back down. That was all it took and 

Mikey was riding Frank's cock like he was trying to win the Kentucky Derby. The men moaned as Frank took a hold of Mikey's 

cock, gripped him tightly and began stroking him. Mikey's lips came crashing down onto Frank's and Mikey dug his fingers 

into Frank's shoulders. As Mikey broke the kiss, Frank bit his lip and made Mikey cry out a little. His lips once again 

touched Frank's as he moaned louder at the motion of Frank tugging on his cock. Pulling away he screamed out as he came 

all over Frank's t-shirt. 

"Don't stop," Frank said grabbing Mikey's hips and slammimg himself in and out of Mikey's ass. It was Frank's turn to yell 

out as he came inside of Mikey. Frank's eyes connected with Mikey's again as he slide off his cock and sat down in his 

lap.

"Thank you," Mikey said to him.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I don't know what I would do with out you."

A few days later...

Frank laid in the bed, Mikey was sleeping beside him but all Frank saw was the cracks in the ceiling. He hadn't replaced 

Gerard with Mikey but it was the same kind of closeness and it scared him. Mikey was even more unstable at that this point 

in his life then when he had been with Gerard. Before Frank was the needy one and now Mikey was. It was bit of a role 

reversal which Frank thought was why he could finally decipher between the two in his head.   
Mikey stirred next to him and began to mumble incoherently. Then he screamed out. Frank pulled Mikey close to him. "Mikey 

it's okay. I'm here. Everything is okay." The younger Way whimpered threw his sobs as the tears fell from his eyes.  
"Frank, why won't it stop."  
"I don't know, Mikey, I wish I could make it stop."  
Mikey pressed his face into Frank's t-shirt and cried. Frank rubbed his back and rocked him softly. It was going to be a 

long day and night, Frank thought as he closed his eyes and comforted Mikey.


	6. Chapter 6

As time dwelled on Mikey was just okay while Frank picked up the slack but today he had to go see his kids and Mikey's Mom 

couldn't come and stay with him. They had been going back and forth about it for an hour now.

"I just won't go," Frank said shaking his head.

"Frank, you have to go see the kids. I won't allow it to happen. I don't want to be the one at fault because you don't see 

the kids. "

"It wouldn't be you fault."

Mikey said. "Please, go. I want you to."

Frank searched his eyes but all he could see is that he was set on the fact that he wanted him to go. "Fine," he said 

standing up. "I'll be back tonight." He said as he walked towards the door.

"I'll be okay," Mikey called after him as Frank opened the door and walked out. As Frank closed the door, he hesitated 

briefly but went on his way to see his kids.

Mikey went to his notebook at the table. He sat and looked at the clock. He wrote and he looked at the clock. An hour? He 

thought to himself, it feels more like it has been forever. Getting up from the chair; he paced the room. Maybe this was 

harder then he thought it would be. He glanced over at the phone. Maybe I should just call him and have him come back? 

Pushing the thought aside, he went and sat on the couch. Picking up the remote, he turned the tv on and flipped through 

the channels. He couldn't find anything but settled on some movie he hadn't seen before. The longer he watched it, the 

more bored he became and soon he was sound asleep.

A few hours later Mikey woke up from a nightmare, he reached out for Frank and realized he wasn't there. He was terrified. 

He got up from the couch and paced again. He frantically, pushed his fingers through his hair and couldn't get himself to 

stop shaking. Mikey's eyes fell onto his cell phone, hurrying over he picked it up and searched for a number. His hand 

still shook as he heard the person that he called pick up. He made him self cough out a reply to the hello on the other 

end."Hey, it's Mikey." Pause. "Uhm, yeah, can you get me some pills? Yes, pills." Pause. "Can you get me what I have had 

in the past?" Pause. "You know the address. Are you on your way? 20 minutes. Gotcha."

He frantically paced glancing at the clock every few minutes, he was sweating and still shaking. He kept thinking time 

was going so slow that Frank would be back before he got here. As he put his hands threw his hair for the hundreth time, 

the doorbell rang. Running to the door, he opened it and let them in. The guy showed him the bottle, Mikey pulled cash out 

of his pocket and stuck it in the guys hand as he took the bottle from the other man. Then he pushed him out the door; he 

wasn't wanting any idle chit chat.

As the man left, Mikey closed the door behind him and ran off to the kitchen. He opened the bottle and then popped a few 

pills. Picking the bottle up, he closed it and stuffed it in his pocket. Then proceeded to make his way back over to the 

couch where he plopped down. Not realizing the time, he popped a few more and began to zone out. Suddenly, everything 

changed around him and he wasn't in his living room anymore.

He got up and he looked around. "No, anywhere but here!" He cried. Dropping to his knees he looked up and he saw Gerard 

dead in the chair. A bottle of vodka was in his hand and he took a long chug of it. "I don't want to be here," he screamed 

and got to his feet. Making his way over to the table, he did a few more lines and leaned back. He stumbled backwards and 

fell into a slump against the cabinets. Tears streamed down his face and he took a long swig from the bottle. 

Pushing himself to his feet and almost falling, he made his way over to his brother. He stroked his cheek. "Why didn't you 

talk to me, Gee?" His mouth sounding like it was full of marbles. "I would of talked you threw it. I would of been there 

for you like you always were for me."

He walked backwards away from him. "No! You're cold! You aren't supposed to be cold!" He yelled pulling at his hair and as he walked backwards, he hit something which knocked him down to the floor. Curling himself into the fetal position, he cried like a baby.

"Mikey!" Frank screamed, slamming the door as he ran into the house. He crouched down close to Mikey. "Mikey," He was unconscious. He used all his muscle to pick him up. It wasn't that Mikey weighed more than him but he was taller and that made all the difference. He half carried, half dragged Mikey down the hall to the bathroom and he turned on the shower. With all he had he pulled him into the bathtub with him and then held him close. "This is why I didn't want to leave you," he said as he stroked Mikey's cheek. "Please wake up, please," Frank cried.

Frank shivered in the ice cold water and it seemed like it took forever but Mikey's eyes fluttered open. He blinked to take in his surroundings. "Frank," he said wrapping his arms around him. 

"What happened?" Frank asked him as he reached over and turned the water off. 

"Your lips are blue," Mikey said running his finger over them.

"Are you avoiding the question?"

"Do I have to talk about it?" 

"Mikey, you were passed out on the living room floor. You about gave me a heart attack."

He started crying, "I fell asleep." Mikey paused as he started crying harder. "I was there, Frank, with him. I relived the whole thing all over again. I never wanted to go back there. Ever."

Frank pulled him closer to him. "It's okay. I'm here now and everything is fine." He rubbed his back. The both of them were drenched and even their body heat wasn't making him warm. "Come on, we got to get out. I am definitely going to be sick."

"Oh, I forgot," Mikey said getting up as quickly as he could, even though he was weighed down by his drenched clothes and trying not to slip in the tub. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Frank as he go to his feet. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." He said blowing it off. "Let's go take these wet clothes off and go to bed."


	7. Chapter 7

Months had gone by since Gerard had killed himself and life basically just went on. It wasn't sad, it wasn't happy, it was just bittersweet. Mikey laid on the couch and Frank was in the other room practicing on his guitar. The younger Way hadn't been able to even look at one since it had all happened because the thought of music turned his stomach. He liked when Frank played though, it reminded him of a happier time, when both of them loved Gerard. Mikey would tell anyone that asked that Gee was his best friend, even now, while Frank was always in love with him. 

He never once felt like he had done anything wrong with Frank, even though he had found out afterwards that Gerard had killed himself because he wanted to be with Frank and he couldn't be. Mikey also liked to think that his brother would of given them his blessing. See, it was because of Gee, that Mikey always had a soft spot for Frank but it was because his brother had made it that way. He had talked about him so much, that Mikey was sure that even back then that he had a terrible crush on Frank. Though he was sure at the same time, that anyone in the world who knew of Frank Iero, had a crush on him, even if they lied about not having one.

What Frank didn't know was that Mikey was still getting drugs and he used every day. Frank would tell him how tired he looked or that he looked terrible but he was just high. It wasn't that he wanted to decieve him, it was just that he needed to be numb, because it was the only way that he could walk through these endless days of life. It was his only coping mechanism and he didn't want to let go.

When they woke up this morning, Mikey had realized that he had no more pills and when he called his dealer, he told him that he was all out. He was so strung out and moody all day that Frank finally put two and two together. Mikey was pretty sure that he had never seen him this anger and it was angrier even then when he was mad at his brother.

"All this time, I thought that I was enough, but I wasn't. Do you know how much I sacrificed in my life just to be with?"

"I know," he said softly putting my head down.

"Then why? Why destroy yourself even more?"

"Frank," he began, "I didn't destroy myself, it just took away all those images from my head." He was shaking already from the withdrawel. 

"But you had me to talk to, to talk you through it."

Mikey pulled at his hair and started tapping he foot up and down at a rapid pace. "You don't get it."

"Mikey you forget, I was there with you and that I saw everything that you did."

"It was my brother," he said begining to cry and sobbing as soon as it had.

"Really, Mikey, because I didn't love Gerard. I still fucking love Gerard and I always will."

Mikey eyed the younger man, "you don't love me do you. You just want me to replace, Gee."

"Mikey, no, how could you possibly even say that or even think it for that matter," he hurried over to him and knelt down in front of Mikey, placing his hand on his knee. "I love you with all my heart, I love both you for different reasons."

He didn't hear him, he just sobbed and when he wrapped his arms around him, he didn't stop him. Even if he didn't love him, he still loved him and Mikey needed him. Once his sobbing had stopped, he tried talking to him but his mind wasn't on Frank at that moment, it was on how he was going to get his next fix.

We he had finally snapped out of it, he heard Frank go in to the bathroom to take a shower. As the water was turned on, Mikey picked up his cell and made a call to his drug dealer. Mikey was relieved to find out that he was just around the corner. The dealer came within minutes, they did the exchange and Mikey was back on the couch even before Frank had gotten out of the shower. He pulled the bottles of pills out, popped two of them and swallowed them hard. Mikey hid the bottle in the couch before Frank came back into the living room.

Throughout the night, he popped more and more. Frank was still mad, he could tell but he was trying his best to be nice to him. Mikey could see that he didn't want to lose him too, but his head was spinning so bad. He felt intoxicated but he felt nothing. He was invincible after all, he was Mikey Fucking Way and these pills couldn't do shit to him. Frank was eye him curiously from the other side of the room.

"Maybe, we should go to bed?" Frank asked him.

"Bed?" Mikey said slurring his words a bit.

"What did you take?" Frank asked him in his face now. He could feel him helping him down the hall to the bedroom, he helped him into bed and then climbed in next to him, wrapping his arms around him as he did.

Mikey didn't remember falling asleep, he just remembered walking from the nightmare but this time it was different. This time when he walked into the garage, Gee surely was dead but as Mikey got closer he sat up. He turned towards his younger brother, the whole blazing red in his chest and his eyes were wide and crazy. He laughed maniacally, like a crazy clown.  
Then he spoke to him.

"Do you miss me baby brother?" Mikey stared wide eyed at him as he giggled like the Joker in between every sentance that he spoke. "You don't even know, but your time is soon." 

"No," Mikey gasped out.

He laughed again. "Mikey, you belong with me. Always. You'll be better with me."

"No, I won't leave Frank."

"Tisk. Tisk. Mikey, don't you know that you can't change your fate. Times up junior." He said snapping his finger and that was when Mikey's eyes had flicked open.

He slithered out of the bed, as quietly and soundless as he could. Once he was out the bedroom door, he ran all the way down the hall and to the couch. Pulling the cushion off, he grabbed the bottle of pills and opened it into his. Shaking out all that as in there, he counted them. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he dumped the handful of pills into his mouth. As he swallowed them, he sat on the couch where he had taken the cushion off and began to rock back and forth.

"No." He said the tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. "Frank," he sobbed but his was such a mess that none of it was every spoken. It was the words reverberating off his brain, bounching all around his head. They began kicking in with in minutes, the drool spilling out of the side of the mouth and something in him knew how bad he fucked up. Mikey started shaking his head and that was when his eyes caught the notepad and pen on the table next to the phone.

He reached his arms over, knowing now exactly what Mr. Fantastic felt like everytime he moved his body and dragged the pad and paper back to him. He managed to scribble on the paper, "I'M SORRY!" Even though the words were all over the paper. His eyes grew heavy. "Sleepy," he mumbled and he leaned back into the couch closing his eyes. As he drifted off, the drugs kicked in, it was to much for his small frame to take and he stopped breathing, the notebook on his lap, pen still in his hand.

Frank opened his eyes and reached for Mikey but he wasn't there. He stretched. "Mikey?" He called as he climbed out of the bed. It wasn't like him to be up already. He looked in the bathroom but he wasn't there. Then he proceed down the hall to the living room and that was when he saw him. It was instantaneous as soon as his eyes fell on him and he realized how much in that moment he looked like Gerard. The tears fell freely down his cheeks, as he walked over to the couch. He pushed him, "Mikey," he called out. His body was stiff and he could feel the coldness of his corpse run down his spine.  
"No, no, no, not again. Not Mikey too. No!" He screamed the last word out.


	8. Chapter 8

Frank sat in a chair in the corner of his recording studio and all did was drink constantly. When he had found Mikey, the first thing he had done was call Jamia and all he managed to get out through his sobs were, "Mikey." "Dead." "No." "Not again." Jamia figured it out and had called 911, then left immediately to go to Frank's side. He had heard her say his name as she had walked in, but he had not acknowledge her. He instead stared at the corpse of Mikey on the couch and instead listened to the voices in his head that were telling him that Mikey's death was just as much his fault as Gerard's was.

He had been in love with both of them and lost both of them. It basically ripped his heart of his chest and he couldn't cope with it. Why was he still alive? Why was he still allowed to breath? Silent tears fell from his eyes as he stared off at nothing that was in front of him because all that he saw was their bodies. Their corpses were haunting his waking eyes and his dreams. Sleep and Frank weren't friends anymore, as a matter of fact, they weren't even neighbors in life anymore.

Jamia was worried about him. She had never seen Frank this way before. Frank had always drank, but not this much, not until he was completely passed out on the floor every day. The only time that he was every even remotely close to it, was when the band broke up and he lost Gerard. When Gerard had died, he had Mikey there to take care of and she had realized after a couple of months, that their relationship was anything but platonic. When she had talked to Frank, at every mention of Mikey's name, his eyes sparkled like they had when he use to talk about Gee. She had no idea it would end like this though and watching the man that she loved fall to rock bottom because she didn't think he had any way to claw himself out.

He hadn't eaten in days, he hadn't spoken either, all he did was drink and she knew she couldn't leave him there drinking himself to death. Jamia couldn't watch him die. She called James because he was the only person she could think of even though he hadn't talked to him in months. When James came, he could barely look at Frank and together they made a decision that no one wants to ever make.

Two days later, they came and took Frank away. They had agreed that he need to go away, that he needed a little rest and maybe some meds would help him cope with all he had lost. Jamia feared the worst but let him go because she knew that there wasn't anything else for him that she could do. As they took him away, she kissed his cheek one last time and said, "Frank, I love you and I always will." He had stared off, somewhere else and she fell to the ground as the tears fell form her eyes.

Frank was put into a room, where he stared off all day long, when the nurse came and went all he asked them for was alcohol. They told him that he couldn't have any, then they made him take pills every day, so he just kind of mumbled to himself most of time. They weren't really listening to him anyway. Everyone once in a while someone would pick up an audible word in his mumbles. "Hate the ending myself," or "how will it matter long after I'm gone?" The medications that they had him on were making him worse and they didn't realize it. The meds actually would put him to sleep and every night, he'd wake up, drenched in sweat and he was brought back to that morning. 

Frank walked in walked into the living room and his heart sank. When he got to Mikey's side, he touched him and felt that his body heat was low. He pulled the older man to him and he wept. He stroked his hair and cried out, "how could this fucking happen to me again? How can life be so fucking cruel to take both of them away from me?" He knew that he shouldn't have gotten involved this close to Mikey, especially after how Gerard basically pulled his heart out of his chest, chewed it up and spit it out. He stroked Mikey's perfect hair. "I never even told you that I loved you," he sobbed, "I hope you knew." He had no idea how long he had actually sat there with him, before he had picked up the phone and called Jamia. When she had arrived, he was still holding Mikey's limp body and crying.

He got up from his bed, his heart was still racing from the dream and he began pacing the room. His hands running continuously through his hair or falling at his side in fists. Why was it him that had to still be alive? Why him? All of a sudden, the lyrics to the song that had been in his head for days came into his mind and he sang them out loud, "You're just a sad song with nothing to say. About a life long wait for a hospital stay and if you think that I'm wrong, this never meant nothing to ya, at all, at all, at all, at all," 

The tears were still running out of his eyes, as he walked over to the wall and started punching it. A few minutes later, someone ran into the room and tackled him away from the wall. His hands were bloody and some of his fingers were broken. That was last time that he had interacted with anyone or anything, they had fixed him and gave him more meds as they put him back to bed. He just stared at the ceiling, waiting for death to take him too and he got sick. He got really sick, but he was always sick and he just carried on. He lived, he breathed and he spent the rest of his life in that wretched room becoming a sad song with nothing to say. Everyday, nothing else played in his mind but 'Disenchanted', "If I'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long? Now will it matter after I'm gone? Because you never learn a goddamned thing."

THE END


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